Getting There...
Most often the woman arrives with only a couple of suitcases or cardboard boxes of clothing. She grabs what she can in order to leave quickly. There is no time to plan for the next season—who thinks about bringing a winter coat in the middle of summer?
She may arrive at the shelter with physical scars, but most certainly she brings with her the emotional scars of the betrayal by the one she thought loved her. She is spiritually torn between a God who loves her and One who has allowed this to happen to her life. She leaves behind a broken relationship, but often a decent home with all its comforts and not knowing where her next dollar will come.
She moves to a small bedroom with a twin bed and trundle, a set of bunkbeds, and a chest of drawers for her belongings. She may not have any money of her own, and will have to go through the court system to obtain any sort of maintenance, while facing her abuser in the courtroom.
She shares a house with other women who also may have brought children with them from different abusive backgrounds and family values. Not only must she manage her problems and difficulties, but she also must deal with other women who are doing the same. She shares the responsibility for cleaning and cooking with the other residents.
And then there are the children... They too have been torn from their roots to a strange place in a part of St. Paul. They didn't ask for this, but know it is necessary because they have seen what happened at home. They too struggle with a God who would allow this to happen to them. We want to provide for the various needs and even comforts that will ease their burdens.
And Then...
The transformation begins at the Shelter House as we surround the women and their children with love and caring, while meeting their physical needs. We tell them about how much God loves them and His deep concern for them. Slowly, the fragile beings who entered our house begin to relax, to cease crying, to begin to smile again—and maybe even laugh.
She starts to hope that she and her children might be healed and whole again, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Over the next three months, she learns to lean on God while we show her ways to deal with her brokenness, change habits and attitudes, and learn new skills that will help her provide for herself and her children.
Moving Forward...
After three months, most women are ready to move forward with their lives and self-sufficiency. That means different things to different women—some move next door to the Transitional House, some into their own apartment, and, yes, some even return to their spouses who have been on a similar path of healing.
For those who choose the Transitional House, we provide primarily housing and some basic kitchen supplies, but they are responsible for their own food which includes the shopping, payment for, and preparation, as well as clothing needs. While there, they must be going to school, looking for employment or working, or securing disability compensation if they are unable to do either of the other two. For this, they pay 30% of their gross income, no matter how much that is. It is during this time that we watch as the women put their recently acquired skills into practice, building a stable future for themselves and their children, while continuing to lean on God for strength and more healing—this may take years or it may take the rest of their lives. After six months, they are ready to move to the next steps of self-sufficiency—living in their own place.
Some have moved directly from the Shelter House to their own apartments, leaving with what they brought with them. With help from donors, other agencies, volunteers and friends, their new homes will take shape as we help them fill it with needed items from sofas to soup. It is a joy to see their eyes begin to shine as they realize that this is “home.”
Others have chosen to move back with their spouses into the homes they left. It is not our desire for these women to divorce, only to find healing through Jesus Christ and to make healthy choices. While they were at the Shelter House, their spouses may have been on a parallel path where they learned how they may have been continuing in the generational bondage of abusive behavior, how God wants them to treat their wives, how to make the necessary changes, and how to ask for forgiveness. The skills they both learned will help them reunite through the Power of the Holy Spirit and make “home” a place where they all want to be—together as a family.
